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Life just seem so meaningless at this point of time. Those long waited tears in my eyes are threatening 2 flood out of my eyes any moment. De loneliness deep inside mi is beginning 2 engulf mi. de feeling is so strong that i wish 2 use a knife and stab rite thru de pain 2 make it vanish. I really wish 4 my family members 2 understand de state i am in, de depression i am facing, de stress i am engaging in, de pain i'm going thru. Yes, they've stress, all of us does. But why do they have 2 contribute all their stress at mi? Y do they have 2 make things so diff. 4 mi? I came back from sch, after cca, so tired and totally frustrated, and they showed mi that attitude. My mom's face shows that she wans 2 tear down de house like tt. I dun understand y must they do tis to mi loR. I really didn't offend them at all. they can't expect mi 2 get home early like at 7 when i've sch and cca. I understand their work stress, y can't they try 2 understand mine? I tried 2 compromise, y can't they do de same? I'm so sick and tired of entertaining ppl. I'm so sick and tired of hiding all my frustration inside and lock it inside my heart. My heart had been throbbing so painfully each nite i slept, causing mi 2 wake up. My gastric is working up. I can't have my meals wif a smile across my face. I can't tok 2 them happily abt my school. When i was in sec. sch, i was called 2 de office by my counsellor, asking mi why i slit my wrist. I tearfully answered, "i'm so lonely. I felt like i'm all alone in de world wif no love and care ard mi. I feel such great pain deep inside my heart. I felt like my soul is falling apart and that i can no longer b happy anymore." My counsellor was so surprise. For such a jovial, disturbing and mischievious ger in sch, i could be facing such pain. He asked, "If so, why are u still so happy everyday?' wif a puzzle look on his face. "Bcoz i believe tat i shd onli share my smile and laughter wif de ppl ard mi, not my tears." He den asked, "that is not de solution. Self infliction is not de solution." i answered, "It's so hurtful. It's so hurtful 2 onli feel de pain deep inside my heart but couldn't c it. Wouldn't it b better seeing it on my wrist rather than feeling it deep inside my heart?" I love sitting at de beach, feeling de wind against my face. It's like being showered wif love. It's like blowing away ur unhappiness. It feels so comforting. I really love my frens, i love my family. I dun wish 2 do anything which hurt them. I wan 2 compromise, i wan 2 mk them laugh, but how 2 when they dun work along wif mi? It's so hard 2 laugh and smile when there's a million needles poking deep against ur heart, refusing 2 b removed. It's so painful 2 feel de pain but can't c it. De onli thing which keep me going is seeing de ppl ard mi smile and laugh. My frens asked, "y ur smile changed so much?", comparing my sec. sch photo wif my recent photo. The reason is obvious. I really wish 4 sumone 2 hug mi. I really feel such great pain beyond description. Oh Lord, pls save mi.
Name:Lau Li Li
Age:18+
Sex:Female
Schools:Fuhua Pri., Keming Pri.,Zhenghua Sec., Republic Polytechnic
Work:Part-Time Modelling & Actress, Tutor
Wants:Pursue my studies on Law and if possible, Full-time for my Part-time works 1.Coconut juice *i simply can't do without it* 2.Greentea POLKA *The Alternate* 3.Chrysanthemum *The Second Alternate* 4.Instant noodles *The unresistable* 5.Beach *The Quiet Corner* 6.IT Security Management & Networking *Pls grant mi As* --> MicroEconomics *Pls grant mi MORE As* 7.Sammi Chueng, Yang Qian Hua, Zhou Xing Chi, Daniel Wu, She Shi Man *The Must WATCH movies* 8.Home-Cooked Food *Foods which i'll nv get bored of* 9.'Can you keep a secret?', 'The Make Up Girl', 'The Undomestic Goddess', 'The Shopaholic' *Books i can't do without* 10.Reality Shows *The only times which i can see ppl make a fool out of themselves other than myself.* 1.My Family *The Never Ending Support* 2.My Buddies & Friends *The Never Ending Laughters* 3.My Hubby *The Never Ending Love,Care and quarrels* 4.Music *My Life* 5.Acting *Pastime* 6.Being Crazy *The only times which i am not angry* 7.Typing *The only thing i am fast in* 8.Singing *The only time your voice is louder than your parents's 9.Movies *Watch ppl nag,quarrel,trick etc at other ppl for once rather than i'm the victim every other times* 10.Sleeping *The only time i can rest* 1.Angry ppl 2.Cruel ppl 3.Temperamental ppl 4.Stubborn ppl 5.Hypocrites 6.Attitude ppl 7.Tiko ppl 8.Bossy ppl 9.Lazy ppl 10.Papaya! 11.Backstabbers 1.Get As for results 2.Happy And Peaceful world 3.Friends to be happy 4.Happy Family 5.Happy Me 6.Happy Facilitators so i'll have good daily grades 7.Happy Hubby 8.Good establish career 9.Good future 10.Great Life
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