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2004-08-17 PpL changeD.. >damn.. i dunno wad's up wif mi. Jus couldn't get myself 2 tk things easy. De sense of depression just won't leave m1. Pls just get out of my head..... i dun wan 2 suffer from depression again. It's so painful 2 go thru it again. I just have 2 keep telling myself, tk it easy... Life is great, God is great, everything is great. I'm fine. Damn IT~!! I Can't do IT~!! I just can't help it knowing that sooner or later, everyone'll leave mi~!! I'm just so afraid of that. I dun wish 4 anyone 2 leave mi. Jus like how my auntie, kaixin and He left mi. I dun wish for tat to happen anymore. Pls dun tk anyone away frm mi... I couldn't help de tears spilling out from my eyes when i'm alone waiting for my godbro. I dunno how and why. it jus fell like rain. I felt as if i couldn't stop crying and i'll nv stop crying. i feel so alone. The loneliness just crept upon mi. And it just refuse 2 leave my heart alone. I just can't help having the tot tat all my mom desire are taiji, frens and tv though she always cook for us. I just can't help thinking that de food she cooked doesn't taste as nice and wif feeling as before. I dun feel de 'love' in de food anymore. It's slowly drifting away. I tell myself that my parents love mi. I'm their daughter, they love mi. But i dunno y... de tears just can't help running down my face. I'm happy for my godbro. I really am. Esp when he got over Her and started his love life new wif jolin. But i just can't help having that pang of jealousy. Our conversation just isn't the two way crappy stuffs we used 2 tok about. it isn't de way we laugh like how we used 2. It is just not de same now. I just dunno y. But it's just like tt. I know... i know tat one day he'll leave me tis godsis. for jolin. It's just de matter of time. I tried so hard 2 smile when he toked abt jolin. I enthusiastically asked him how's his day wif jolin. But each time he replied, my heart sinks in deeper. De loneliness just came upon mi again. Not coz i'm in luv wif him.. dun mistaken. Just tat things aren't de way it was used 2 b. Everything is diff. Bcoz all his time are spent wif his frens and jolin. He no longer asked abt mi. No longer joked ard wif mi as much as he used 2. Each time i looked at him, he'll b busy composing picture msgs from Jolin or messaging her. I love my godbro. He's my very special fren. I told myself it's great he gotten over Her and started his love life new. It's good, it's great, but i just can't help thinking he'll leave mi soon. Becoz, now, he's already starting 2 drift away frm mi. Stella and cheryl went 2 meet their sec sch mates, so, i've 2 go hm 1st. Nt that i'm angry or anything tat they didn't accompany mi. I know Stella SENSE that i'm JUSt not RITE. But I'm not angry. I really am not. I'm just jealous. Jealous that Radz is no longer wif mi. Neither is Audrey. All of them had left mi. I dun like it. I really dun like it~!! I HATE IT~!! I wan EVERYTHING 2 b de same. Damn it, i hate it when ppl console mi, saying, "ppl come and go." Why must they GO~!! I can feel de feelings deep inside wanting 2 burst out any moment. But each time it's bursting out, i force it back in wif a smile. they dun love mi like they used 2... everything had changed... Everyone had changed.. It's so hard for mi 2 remain de same...
~LiLi~
Name:Lau Li Li
Age:18+
Sex:Female
Schools:Fuhua Pri., Keming Pri.,Zhenghua Sec., Republic Polytechnic
Work:Part-Time Modelling & Actress, Tutor
Wants:Pursue my studies on Law and if possible, Full-time for my Part-time works
~Her Favorites~
1.Coconut juice *i simply can't do without it*
2.Greentea POLKA *The Alternate*
3.Chrysanthemum *The Second Alternate*
4.Instant noodles *The unresistable*
5.Beach *The Quiet Corner*
6.IT Security Management & Networking *Pls grant mi As*
--> MicroEconomics *Pls grant mi MORE As*
7.Sammi Chueng, Yang Qian Hua, Zhou Xing Chi, Daniel Wu, She Shi Man *The Must WATCH movies*
8.Home-Cooked Food *Foods which i'll nv get bored of*
9.'Can you keep a secret?', 'The Make Up Girl', 'The Undomestic Goddess', 'The Shopaholic' *Books i can't do without*
10.Reality Shows *The only times which i can see ppl make a fool out of themselves other than myself.*
~Loves~
1.My Family *The Never Ending Support*
2.My Buddies & Friends *The Never Ending Laughters*
3.My Hubby *The Never Ending Love,Care and quarrels*
4.Music *My Life*
5.Acting *Pastime*
6.Being Crazy *The only times which i am not angry*
7.Typing *The only thing i am fast in*
8.Singing *The only time your voice is louder than your parents's
9.Movies *Watch ppl nag,quarrel,trick etc at other ppl for once rather than i'm the victim every other times*
10.Sleeping *The only time i can rest*
~Loathes~
1.Angry ppl
2.Cruel ppl
3.Temperamental ppl
4.Stubborn ppl
5.Hypocrites
6.Attitude ppl
7.Tiko ppl
8.Bossy ppl
9.Lazy ppl
10.Papaya!
11.Backstabbers
~WishList~
1.Get As for results
2.Happy And Peaceful world
3.Friends to be happy
4.Happy Family
5.Happy Me
6.Happy Facilitators so i'll have good daily grades
7.Happy Hubby
8.Good establish career
9.Good future
10.Great Life
* Archives *
Saturday, August 07, 2004
Sunday, August 08, 2004
Monday, August 09, 2004
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Friday, August 13, 2004
Saturday, August 14, 2004
Sunday, August 15, 2004
Monday, August 16, 2004
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Friday, August 20, 2004
Saturday, August 21, 2004
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Monday, August 23, 2004
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Friday, August 27, 2004
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Thursday, September 02, 2004
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Sunday, September 05, 2004
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Wednesday, September 08, 2004
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Friday, September 17, 2004
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Friday, October 01, 2004
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