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It's a long time since i last blogged here. Think i'm enjoying my holidays too much 2 even blog? Think again. My dad is still de same. It's hard 2 predict his temper. Anytime, he would blow up all of a sudden. And den again, he'd be all sweet and kind the next moment. It's weird. On my dad's birthday, i gave him a drawing which i took a long time to draw it. I was hoping so much that he would put it on his office table. But to my dismay, it's not only not in the display cardboard, not for any display purposes, but it's put away inside our house's old cardboard. If my bro. didn't show it to me that nite, i would have thought he really brought it to office. If i were to have a positive thought, my dad is preserving my drawing. If i were to have a negative thought, he doesn't care. but a part of me know he still does care about my drawings and me. I drew that drawing for him because he once complained that no one drew anything for him b4. My temper ain't tat good now adays either. It is either de quietness within me or it's ghost. I dunno. I couldn't control my temper all of a sudden. I went to suntec to walk alone 2day. Nothing new actually. But i spent most of my time inside the jigsaw puzzle shop. tee hee.. wanted 2 buy naruto's jigsaw puzzle but didn't wanna waste money. I wanted to buy a small naruto figure for xiaohsin but didn't becos i'm afraid ppl would think i'm a kid. well... that's a lousy excuse but ahem, i'm alone lor. I couldn't help feeling.. shy? Den i spent most of my time toking 2 doris jie jie too. thank you doris jie jie for contacting mi. ^^ erm.. though i know partly it is because of your blog but i know you still care about mi. ^^ hehe~! I really appreciate your presence wor jie jie, though it is only a phone call, i'm glad you still remember mi. I didn't wanna meet xiaohsin now adays. Partly because i'm afraid we would end up quarrelling again which i dun wan to. But a part of mi wants to see him. now, as i am typing, i'm looking at our 2nd month's neoprint which we took 2gether. We genuinely look so happy. But the following months.. the 5th, 6th, 7th etc.. it's starting to look so fake. I yearn so much for the past. We drifted so much apart. not physically obviously. But emotionally. I want so much to be once again happy for the whole day 2gether wif him. But a part of mi knows that it is impossible though i wan it so much to happen. But at times, i just couldn't stand de way he handle problems and situations. He simply just do it the way he wants and put mi aside. I know i still love him... i still miss him... but.. i'm just so terrified we would end up quarrelling. I want so much just to be happy wif him. Not to quarrel everyday. I dun ever wanna sit alone in esplanade crying. I dun ever wanna stay home alone drawing. But i know it's impossible because i'm too afraid to face the reality that we couldn't stand one day without quarrelling. What ignite it? I dunno. that's the problem. One, we would be quarrelling about him messing up my schedules with his abrupt "event". 2nd, we would be quarrelling because of a game. 3rd, we would be quarrelling about cooking. I dunno why are there so much 2 quarrel. Such stupid trivial things. But i couldn't help myself from being angry. THe thing is, i'm angry at myself. i dunno why. *sigh*.. i msged so many frens but all of them turned mi down. I'm dare not say i'm disappointed becos i did neglect most of them. I apologise. But i have to say it that i couldn't help it because i was really busy working hard in school. All of you should know that i dun work well wif my classmates, therefore, most of the days, i'm doing solo work. I had 2 work extra hard. I didn't have so many good frens like most of you do in class. So i hope you understand that i couldn't spend de time to go out to eat. Though sometimes i do eat wif xiaohsin, but it's less than half an hour. But it was like a few months ago. I stopped eating wif him already. I was simply too busy even to reply his msges online. I'm wondering....... do i still know how to love and care?
Name:Lau Li Li
Age:18+
Sex:Female
Schools:Fuhua Pri., Keming Pri.,Zhenghua Sec., Republic Polytechnic
Work:Part-Time Modelling & Actress, Tutor
Wants:Pursue my studies on Law and if possible, Full-time for my Part-time works 1.Coconut juice *i simply can't do without it* 2.Greentea POLKA *The Alternate* 3.Chrysanthemum *The Second Alternate* 4.Instant noodles *The unresistable* 5.Beach *The Quiet Corner* 6.IT Security Management & Networking *Pls grant mi As* --> MicroEconomics *Pls grant mi MORE As* 7.Sammi Chueng, Yang Qian Hua, Zhou Xing Chi, Daniel Wu, She Shi Man *The Must WATCH movies* 8.Home-Cooked Food *Foods which i'll nv get bored of* 9.'Can you keep a secret?', 'The Make Up Girl', 'The Undomestic Goddess', 'The Shopaholic' *Books i can't do without* 10.Reality Shows *The only times which i can see ppl make a fool out of themselves other than myself.* 1.My Family *The Never Ending Support* 2.My Buddies & Friends *The Never Ending Laughters* 3.My Hubby *The Never Ending Love,Care and quarrels* 4.Music *My Life* 5.Acting *Pastime* 6.Being Crazy *The only times which i am not angry* 7.Typing *The only thing i am fast in* 8.Singing *The only time your voice is louder than your parents's 9.Movies *Watch ppl nag,quarrel,trick etc at other ppl for once rather than i'm the victim every other times* 10.Sleeping *The only time i can rest* 1.Angry ppl 2.Cruel ppl 3.Temperamental ppl 4.Stubborn ppl 5.Hypocrites 6.Attitude ppl 7.Tiko ppl 8.Bossy ppl 9.Lazy ppl 10.Papaya! 11.Backstabbers 1.Get As for results 2.Happy And Peaceful world 3.Friends to be happy 4.Happy Family 5.Happy Me 6.Happy Facilitators so i'll have good daily grades 7.Happy Hubby 8.Good establish career 9.Good future 10.Great Life
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